The Friction, Differences and Karma Meters: remember how perfect things seemed back in the beginning?
Or maybe you can't even recall those glorious early days, when the future looked rosy and the possibilities for your relationship seemed limitless.
What was it that broke the two of you up, anyway?
The answer to that question is complex and multilayered, to be sure.
Had you known what your relationship trouble spots were, then you could have been better prepared to take one of three routes; avoid them as best as you could, worked through them as a team, or decided it just wasn’t worth the trouble and move on.
Your Friction, Differences and Karma meters give you a quick, at-a-glance view of the strife in your previous relationship -- all the sources of irritation, stress and hostility that ultimately led to that final goodbye.
This information can help you come to terms with your breakup, but also make you aware of pitfalls you may encounter in the future.
7-10: Ouch -- you might still be bitter
4-6: You both knew which buttons to push
0-3: The Problem? A lack of passion.
7-10: You never got each other from day one.
4-6: Your differences were eye-opening... until they got annoying!
0-3: You could still be friends
7-10: It was doomed from the start.
4-6: Unconsciously, you both acted out old issues.
0-3: At least you made new mistakes instead of repeating old ones.
Mars square Venus
At its worst, your relationship was the emotional equivalent of junk food: good for some jollies, but with very little real meat to it. It is possible that one of you was in the relationship primarily because of your physical connection, while the other wanted more of an emotional bond. If this describes your pairing, caution was needed, because such a mismatch of desires may have been what led to disaster. Jealousy was another area of trouble for the two of you, with both of you insecure that the other had a wandering eye. You may have found yourself behaving in uncharacteristic ways: checking up on your partner, asking too many questions. In a weird way, the sexual heat of your relationship masked a rather cold center, and it may have left you feeling emotionally malnourished. Nonetheless, you were well-placed for growth if both of you had been willing to work on the relationship. You need to learn to shore up your confidence and learn to trust. Rather than demanding, try to calm down and wait for what you want. You like action, but in relationships, calm is needed instead. Strive to be kind to future lovers,and your love will grown in fertile soil.
Venus square Sun
Mmmm, yummy. Your relationship was the kind of warm place puppies like to curl up in. Both you and your sweetie were kindhearted and loving, sensual and sexy. Other people envied what you had. But at the same time, there were cracks on the inside of your cocoon that didn't show from the outside. You were a bit of a stomper and a door-slammer -- and you were never known for your fidelity. Think about it: if you actually had to set up rules for what's cheating and what's not, you were skirting close to a dangerous line. Your lover, on the other hand, could be self-righteous, vain, and impulsive. In a lot of ways, you rubbed each other the wrong way, picking stupid fights with each other, viewing each other's flaws with contempt. To make this work, the answer was in good old-fashioned hard work; things like rolling up your sleeves and scheduling some time to work on your issues. Actual changes in your habits and behaviors were needed, not just a lot of hot air and empty promises. The reward for the work would have been a deepened connection that could have grown with time. The penalty for doing nothing was a crash and burn. You won't do that again, will you?
Mars square Sun
You smelled smoke, didn't you? Because you and your lover were a potent -- some would say dangerous -- combination. At best you were proverbial partners in crime, both blessed with a verve and drive that propelled you through life with the force of a bullet shot out of a gun. At worst, you were deadly enemies. You irritated each other, egged each other on to new heights of ego and unreason. Both of you performed for each other -- I'm the most powerful! No, me! There was constant friction between you as both of you fought for the upper hand. Even something as small as choosing what to eat for dinner, or what movie to see, became a battle. Your friends dreaded being around the pair of you because you were so warlike at times. At worst, one or both of you could be abusive. If you had wanted to keep this connection, the answer was in dialing down your competitive streak, neither baiting your lover, nor rising to bait. Consciously and conscientiously trying to calm down and consider your words and actions would have helped a lot. Instead of reacting impulsively you could have tried slowing down and thinking carefully about your ultimate goals, not just your emotions in the moment. With a little more care and attention, your relationship could have swung from a constant battle to a sparkling idyll. You bring energy to every relationship; the question is always how do you use it?
Sun opposite Mars
What a pair you and your lover made -- both vital and driven, passionate and forceful. You impressed each other from the beginning, and as time went on you remained no less dazzled by your mate's confidence and boldness. The bad news? All that energy was too often directed at tearing each other down rather than building each other up. You bickered over things large and small, each of you determined to win at any cost. Tempers flared easily -- you may even have heard from friends or loved ones that being around the pair of you made others nervous, as they never knew when sparks would strike. The answer might have been in accepting the polarities between you. You shared many attributes, including a certain daring. But you would never have agreed on everything. You needed to figure out ways to reduce your exposure to your lover's least-admirable qualities, and offer compromises rather than issuing demands. You didn't have to think of compromise as losing the battle that always seemed to rage between you -- instead it was winning the ultimate war to stay together. You may be someone who likes it hot. If so, give a thought to ways you can head off the riskier aspects of that passion.
Venus opposite Neptune
What secrets lay behind your lover's dreamy, far-off gaze? You had no idea, really, and the mystery drove you mad. It seemed so romantic to be attached to such a compelling, enigmatic sweetie. Someday, you hoped, you'd find out all the secrets. But until then, you filled the information void with your fantasies. And therein lay your problem. You were not involved in something solid and real at all; instead you were locked in on a shifting miasma. It was darned sexy, and lots of fun. But it was like mist, or fog; when you tried to hold on to your lover things slipped through your hand and refused to be captured. Could you ever have gained a more solid footing on this relationship? It's doubtful. You never did, and what you had started to drift away. You couldn't get a fix on what your lover was feeling or where you were going -- but to be honest, at that point you were too busy enjoying the fantasy to try to inject some reality into the setup. You needed to start examining what you were doing with a more critical eye. Remember, the fantasy is often better than the reality.
Mars opposite Neptune
Pity your poor lover, because you could be awfully hard to live with. You were constantly annoyed with your sweetie, viewing your lover's dreamy, drifting nature as lazy and unmotivated. You demanded changes, effective yesterday. But what you asked for was both unreasonable and unkind. You simply didn't chose a lover who would have been able to keep up with you intellectually and physically. Your lover wasn't the mover and shaker type. Instead, you chose yourself a sweet, well-meaning, lovable person who just happened to be a little spacey and emotional. The shame was that you chose with your eyes open, and then you demanded things be different.Papering over the problems you created would have been a lot easier if you had accepted reality and stopped wishing for something else. Your lover would always be a little out-there -- and that was part of the charm of your pairing, because it gave you permission to slow down a little. So why didn't you? You needed to just relax and allow yourself an idyll. Your lover had much to teach you if you could have stopped blustering and demanding what you thought you wanted. They key was to embrace the calm, the dreaminess. Just let go; there was a sweet release awaiting you.
Mercury opposite Jupiter
Yakkity yak yak. That was you and your sweetie, big ol' gasbags full of opinions and thoughts and plans and musings, but very little in the way of real understanding of each other. You started out with the intention of working out your problems -- but before too long, a discussion of something personal turned into an exchange of philosophies, and then likely an argument that continued into the night. On your part, you got annoyed with your lover's grandiose dreams and rather tenuous grasp on reality, while your lover often saw you as nitpicky and harsh, the emotional equivalent of a big bucket of water poured on their parade.Though it may have seemed that you were swimming in circles, you were actually on a fairly direct path to settled bliss. You and your lover brought out some very interesting qualities in each other. You egged each other on, revved each other up. Though you could get PO'd with each other, all the friction was just as likely to turn you on. And face it -- to you the only fate worse than a tumultuous relationship was a boring one.
Sun opposite Uranus
Ultimately, you may have wanted more from this relationship than your lover did. You were so very attracted, it's true; your lover possessed an original point of view, and a stylish way of doing things that impressed you. You were charmed, dazzled, turned on your head. So you ignored all the warning signs you should have been heeding. Ask yourself some difficult questions. When the subject of permanence came up, did your sweetie offer up plans of growing old with you in some rocker somewhere? Or did a strange silence suddenly fall between you? It would have been better to have such conversations sooner rather than later, you know, when you were laying your heart on the line. If this thing was going to work, you would have had to scale back your expectations, and rustled up a little of that confidence that's always been yours to command. You didn't expect your lover to be the cuddle-by-the-fire type, did you? Instead, you should have reveled in a connection that was less constant, but more passionate. After all, who needed to snooze on a sofa when you could have had long, hot sleepless nights instead?
Saturn opposite Jupiter
They say that misery loves company, but in your case it was the company you were keeping that made you miserable. Who gave you the idea that you were small, weak, meek, easy to overlook? Someone in your past gave you quite a working-over, and you still bear the psychic bruises. That's why you handed your lover the leash and gave up control. You let your lover make all the decisions. You spent all your energy going places your sweetie wanted to go, ignoring your own desires. But those stifled impulses popped up anyway, in the sullen resentment that you showed to your lover. It was so unattractive! But you were stuck in a cycle and couldn't seem to break free.The key to altering your troublesome situation lay in looking inside yourself. What is it you really want from your life? What did you want from your relationship, from your lover? You needed to define your vague longings and give them a voice. Your lover was willing to listen, but couldn't guess what you needed unless you were clear. That clarity would have translated into more respect for you, and better feelings all around. Here's a lesson with broader implications in your life; Clearly say what you want and need, and you're very likely to get it.
Sun quincunx Pluto
Your love wasn't always pretty. What was once a delicious attachment collapsed in on itself. What happened? One of you forgot the old maxim about the need to let the things you love roam free. Insecurity led to jealousy, jealousy into attempts to control each other. Intense arguments flared, marked by middle-of-the-night discussions, slammed doors, raised voices. In the beginning you had fun together. But that all became a distant memory. But all did not have to be lost if you didn't want it to be. What was needed was a little balance and flexibility. You didn't choose a lover you could wrap up in a tidy little box. No, your lover was passionate and powerful; someone you could admire but not someone who was easy to live with. So you couldn't expect every aspect of your lives together to go just exactly as you'd have liked all the time. Your lover surprised you, and though that could be disconcerting, with the right mindset it could have been exhilarating. You were never bored, and that counted for a lot. You should have enjoyed your intense connection, because without it your life seems a lot more gray.
Sun quincunx Mercury
A day late and a dollar short. Does that about cover it? There were so many good things about your relationship, but for whatever reason you couldn't quite seem to make it all hang together. You found your lover intriguing, oh yes, indeed, but you couldn't seem to get comfortable. There were awkward pauses in your conversation. You didn't get each other's jokes. You couldn't make that comfortable connection that makes staying together seem more natural and easy than splitting up.It may have seemed as if inevitable doom was in your forecast, but that wasn't necessarily so. Individuals can triumph over the obstacles that make the path of their true love rocky, and you and your sweetie could have been star-crossed lovers who persevered. What would have spelled success? A connection so strong that it made working a little harder well worth it. Did you feel you couldn't live without the love you shared? If so, you could have learned to be flexible. If you had taken an interest in your sweetie's passions and played down the things you didn't share, you would have found that things ran more smoothly -- eventually.
Sun quincunx SaturnYou're the kind of person who drives through life looking in the rearview mirror. Yeah, your past wasn't ideal. People haven't always treated you as kindly as they could have, and your parents were anything but supportive. But why do you marinate in your misery? That victim label doesn't flatter you, you know. You're such a vital, vibrant soul; don't let your sunshine be dimmed by your rage -- and yes, rage is what it is, masquerading as hurt. Now, speaking of dim, it is true you chose a rather stodgy lover; serious where you were lighthearted, weighty and solid where you were impetuous and moving in too many directions. Your lover pulled out your best qualities simply by acting as a reality check. Yet your disparities troubled you. You didn't feel as connected, or as comfortable as you could have. The two of you couldn't seem to relax together into something sweet and easy. But if you could have found a way to unload some of your emotional baggage, to become more comfortable in your own skin, you would have found more ease in your pairing. Work on these sticky issues before you throw your hat into the arena of love next time.
Mercury quincunx Mercury
One of you sure had a bug in your butt, because you pick-pick-picked away at each other. If it was your partner, you should be pitied; it's no fun being henpecked to death or worn down by slow torture of the emotional variety (think the drip-drip-drip of water torture!). But if it's you who was doing the constant criticism thing, just what were you playing at? You had a good thing going; why did you ruin it by nagging and whining? It may have seemed as if you and your lover spoke a different language. Neither of you could make sense of what the other was saying.That being said, you were actually in a good place to move ahead, if you could have gotten through your rough patches. Patience was, as it always is, vital, if you had wanted this to work out. Both of you tended to move too quickly, speak without thinking, do things impulsively. You should have slowed things down a little. Made time for each other. Practiced working out your problems in regularly scheduled venting sessions, rather than just fighting whenever, wherever. Before long, each of you would have expanded enough to hold the other's viewpoint -- and the skills you learned smoothing the path of this partnership would have stood you in good stead for the rest of your life.
Sun quincunx Neptune
Why, oh, why did you and your lover keep finding yourselves in a bad place? You seemed stuck on a terrible treadmill. The pair of you pulled apart, came together, drifted away, circled back. You tired of repeating the same patterns. The chief problem you had with your sweetie was that you couldn't seem to find common ground. And it's true, you didn't have a lot in common -- you were driven while your lover was dreamy, you wanted to stride through the world making big changes, while your lover was more apt to dawdle and drift.But why should you have expected any different when you were the architect of this awkwardness? You were attracted to your lover because of your differences, not in spite of them. Your lover wanted you to slow down a little, to appreciate the subtle and magical rather than just the here and now. In your arrogance you wanted to force your sweetie to see things from your perspective, but that was shortsighted. You needed to bend a little and listen to someone else for a change. You may have found you had a lot to learn about life, not to mention your lover.
Saturn quincunx Mercury
That old story about the tortoise and the hare was borne out in your pairing. You were the stolid tortoise, steadfastly working away on your ambitions, while your partner was the nervous hare, always hopping from one thing to another. Not only was that lack of focus annoying, it was distracting. You were not able to get as much done with your mate around, and it bothered you that your sweetie seemed to hold you back from reaching your potential, rather than bringing out the best in you. It always seemed like you had to be the parent, the one to to take care of business while your partner flitted around socializing and having fun. You liked the control, but the responsibility was a drag. You kept doing it, however, because if you didn't, it didn't get done.You needed to let loose of the reins of responsibility. Your partner was never going to step up to the plate unless you had started backing off a little. You could have started with small things -- where were you going to go to dinner? What's the vacation spot for this year? Then moved up to more major decisions. It may have been a slow process, but instead it couldn't move forward at all because you two didn't start the ball rolling. Joint decision-making is a learned skill, and you're a good learner.
No conjunctions
There's glue, and then there's glue. Elmer's versus epoxy, Velcro versus nails. Your relationship was bound by the easy-to-separate type of togetherness, not the wild-horses-couldn't-drag-us-apart variety. Now, don't misunderstand: This is not to say that there was not a strong connection between you. But you were able to take the occasional separate vacation; to enjoy your own interests without your partner feeling threatened; to be two distinct individuals who chose to hang out together. Compare this to the joined-at-the-hip, can't-bear-to-be-apart couple. Didn't you always wonder about them? What did they think would happen if they weren't together for an entire evening, much less a day or even a week?Separation was not a problem for you two; in fact, you may have done it by choice on a regular basis. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and this was surely true of you and your partner. You took great joy in sharing your individual experiences, as well as in spending time together. If anything, you might have had to make it a point to schedule in time to be together! You may each have been involved in your own orbits that you suddenly realized that days or even weeks had gone by without you two sharing a full day together.You shouldn't have let that happen. You needed to discover the challenges of your relationship, which so often can turn out to be opportunities for growth and development. You two had chosen to be together, and likewise, you could have chosen to grow together.
I hope you have enjoyed the valuable insight, wisdom and guidance of this astrology report. You might be a little curious about astrology and perhaps wondering how an astrologer can know so much about you!
Astrology is a mathematical system. It's all about applying meaning to numbers, or more specifically, finding meaning in the movements of the planets around the Sun, as viewed from our perspective here on earth. These planetary movements are easily captured and recorded with measurements, calculations, angles and so on.
That's why astrology works so well with computers, whose programs are also based on numbers and formulas. In 'the old days' -- thousands of years ago, when astrology was first recorded -- those early astrologers had to painstakingly observe the heavens and catalog their observations for the next generation of astrologers to build upon. Thank goodness for the computer age! Now we can simply use computers to make those calculations quickly and pull just the applicable pieces of information. Now, astrology is instant, based upon thousands of years of observations obtained through careful methodology.
Interpretations of planetary positions are based in part on ancient Greek and Roman mythology, but your astrological report is unique, describing you and you only. Even in the case of twin siblings, their birth charts differ from each other's in at least a few ways. And besides, no one amounts to just a simple interpretation of their birth chart; everyone's personality is complex. Your astrological report leaves plenty of room for variations based on your free will, personal growth and transformation over a lifetime.
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