The Friction, Differences and Karma Meters: remember how perfect things seemed back in the beginning? Or maybe you can't even recall those glorious early days, when the future looked rosy and the possibilities for your relationship seemed limitless. What was it that broke the two of you up, anyway?
The answer to that question is complex and multilayered, to be sure. But your Friction, Differences and Karma meters give you a quick, at-a-glance view of the strife in your relationship -- all the sources of irritation, stress and hostility that ultimately led to that final goodbye.
7-10: Ouch -- you might still be bitter
4-6: You both knew which buttons to push
0-3: The Problem? A lack of passion.
7-10: You never got each other from day one.
4-6: Your differences were eye-opening... until they got annoying!
0-3: You could still be friends
7-10: It was doomed from the start.
4-6: Unconsciously, you both acted out old issues.
0-3: At least you made new mistakes instead of repeating old ones.
You met your match, a lover as brilliant and magnetic as you are. So why did you get so pissed off? It seemed like your lover was always trying to steal your thunder. If you had big news, your mate found a way to top it; if you were getting attention, your mate stepped all over it. You both tended to boss each other around; there were constant arguments over how to do every little thing. You picked fights over the stupidest things, and other people may have told you that your simmering anger made you difficult to be around.This kind of conflict dimmed your light. When you were constantly using your powers to block your partner, you shifted your energies away from your own goals. That was a mistake. What might you have done differently? Been the bigger person. If you had freely given your lover more attention and credit, they would have stopped agitating so fiercely. The ego flare-ups would have died down and you would have felt that 'us against the world, honey' feeling again. If your dueling energies were conserved, even joined, the pair of you could have accomplished great things together. It would have taken energy to get the ball rolling -- but the payoff could have been splendid. Keep that in mind for next time.
You can be a real pain in the butt, and we couldn't blame your sweetie for booting you right out the door. You pushed your luck too far. The fact of the matter was that you chose a lover who didn't harmonize with you naturally. They tended towards the indulgent: fine food, good wine (and plenty of it!), and abundant socializing while your more discerning, intellectual nature cried out for weightier stimulation. You craved a lover who could talk and argue and analyze as well as experience and enjoy. So, feeling stifled in your relationship, you took it out on the one person who loved you more than any other, which just wasn't fair.Had you squashed your desire to lecture and hector, you could have made it past the rough period. Though you refused to see it, you two actually brought out the best in each other -- you were drawn out of your ivory tower, while your lover's self-indulgent tendencies were curbed in your presence, whether you realized it or not. You should have tried to give your lover a break; stopped trying to control, to change them. Ultimately, the love you wanted was already in your hands. Next time, remember to appreciate what you've got when you've got it.
Nervous intensity was at the center of your relationship, and it was an awfully shaky ground to build upon: emotional quicksand instead of solid, dependable rock. You often found yourself furious with your lover, who blurted out the worst things at the most inopportune moments (and like as not in front of the worst people -- it was best to keep this lover away from your boss!). Too often were you wounded with the unvarnished truth; unfortunately, you were apt to discount what your lover said instead of taking helpful hints on board. The smallest issues seemed to erupt into big arguments; the two of you misunderstood each other's intentions and actions. But it didn't have to be all bad news. The reason your relationship lasted as long as it did was because you could bring out good qualities in each other. The competitiveness simmering under the surface kept things interesting, sparkling. There was an energy between you that couldn't be denied. You should have tried approaching each situation with calm, talking slowly and listening more. Had a little cool breeze blown into your relationship, it might have been easier to relax rather than react impulsively. You won't make the same mistake next time.
Color you green, because you were possessive and ill-tempered in this relationship. You landed yourself a big fish that time: powerful, magnetic, impressive. Every head turned when you walked in the room with this special someone on your arm, and you liked it. You basked in the reflected glow of your sweetheart, no less so because you gave off a vibrant, confident sparkle of your own. Truly you were a power couple, a pair others envy. But behind the scenes all was not so sweet. Both you and your sweetie tended to be imperious, fractious, spiteful. Worse, your usual confidence was shaken by your lover's secretive ways. You couldn't seem to get your mojo working, you felt out-of-sorts and angry. You may even have viewed your partner's behavior as abusive. If you had really wanted this to work out, the secret to managing this difficult love relationship would have been to exhibit a little more patience, and a lot more equanimity. Your partner wouldn't have pulled away if you hadn't demanded so much reassurance. If you'd been the person you'd like to come home to, your mate might have been home more often.
You and your lover egged each other on, and not in a good way. Apart you were able to focus your energies on a goal and reach it. Together you were apt to indulge yourself in all sorts of unhealthy ways. You may have run up large credit card bills, or been in some other sort of debt. You acted too quickly, you moved without thinking, you leapt before you looked. Other people may have been coming to you to express concern -- your life wasn't moving in a positive direction, and though the fault wasn't exactly all your lover's, your relationship certainly didn't bring out the best in you. You two needed to set up some ground rules. You never sat down together and talked about where you were and where you want to go. What were your career goals? Where did you see yourselves in five years? In ten? You needed to articulate your dreams, and make concrete plans that would bring them to fruition. Discipline and restraint wouldn't have been easy, it's true, but this was the only way to combat your drift. Letting things go as they did only lead to moving further and further apart. Next time you'll know to make more of an effort to keep things together.
Nag, nag, nag. You could hardly blame your lover for turning off -- your needle was stuck in a groove, and you were running over the same script again and again. Was it by design that you fell into being the bad-guy parent, the scolding teacher? Or did it just somehow happen, with you viewing your restless, hard-to-pin-down lover as a great big blank canvas for you to paint on? You bagged yourself a remarkable sweetie, who was a good match for you. You enjoyed the crackling energy between you -- you sparred with words and never got tired of being in each other's company.Yet your desire to mold your lover into someone else caused friction. And when your lover was challenged, they had a tendency to blurt out the wrong thing at the wrong moment. Then you got wounded and held a grudge. Couldn't you see that the whole cycle started with you? If you'd relaxed a bit, lived and let live, things would have cooled down. Your lover wouldn't have needed to rebel if you weren't always putting on the screws. You need to channel the generous, kind side of your nature and give your future partners a break.
You had that sick feeling in your gut by the end, didn't you? Your lover slipped away, faded out, lost interest in you. You may even have checked them out for signs of infidelity -- you know, gone through pockets, called your lover at odd times hoping you wouldn't find out something underhanded had been going on. But you knew it'd be like this when you started, didn't you? Wasn't this the same old pattern for you? You always choose inconstant lovers who kept you on your toes, probably because at some level you didn't want to find someone who'd really hang around and challenge you. You never found ease and contentment with your sweetie, but if you had wanted it, you could still have had something lasting, not to mention a lusty connection so hot that it made up for a great number of deficiencies. You might have played it a little cooler. Confidence is sexy, so you should have displayed some. The more you drew your lover hither fearlessly rather than leading with your insecure side, the less you'd have had to worry about abandonment.
You and your sweetie were an unusual match, and there were ways it worked for you, as well as ways you were bugged by the differences between you. Most of your problems were connected to the schism between your personalities. You saw your lover as rather egotistic and indulgent, while you were seen as stingy and pessimistic. You were both right, to an extent, but there was another side to your differences; they complemented each other. Your lover's presence caused you to open up and laugh more, while you acted as a stabilizing reality check on your sweetie's worst impulses. Even so, knowing that didn't seem to help you get along better in your day-to-day interactions.One of the biggest problems you faced was your own insecurity. You may have viewed your lover as somehow more important or special than you, and it made you feel like you didn't have the right to expect an equal voice in the relationship. But your mate desired a partner, not a child to nourish and scold. You were every bit as worthy as your sweetie -- you needed to start asking for what you wanted, and putting in as much time on your own goals as your partner's. A little energy put in these directions would have yielded great rewards. With these lessons learned, you're in a good position to succeed in your next relationship.
If you two had been a personal ad, you'd have been the one awash in verbiage about cozy cuddles by the fire and sunset walks on the beach. You snuggled and cooed -- I love you hunny-bunny! Not half as much as I love you, cutsie-wootsie! All that warm-puppy love was sweet, but you were making everyone else at the table sick, particularly since they saw through the act. The truth was that you two were much more in love with love than you were with each other, and that you spent so much time polishing your adoring-lovers act that you didn't truly get to know each other. Had you two wanted to make this work out, you needed to drop the syrup, and start doing some real work. You guys liked each other, right? Well, right? If you had to pause before answering that question, there was a reason why. Did you share values? Where did you see this relationship going? A few discussions should have gotten things started. It would have been difficult, to be sure, to puncture the sweet pink balloon you were living in, but it was a dream world, one that should have been replaced with something solid and dependable.
You chose yourself such a sweet, loving lover -- why did you grow apart? You viewed everything from a distance, loved but not loving. Was it jealousy that hardened your heart? It's true that your sweetie was flirtatious and sensual; so different than you. It was their second nature to gather great groups of admirers. This didn't mean that you didn't have it all, just that there were so many people who envied you for what you had. But to a more serious, restrained person like you, it looked like your dear one was tweaking your green-eyed side on purpose.You needed to relax. Your mate was not one to sneak and betray. You bagged yourself a lover who was really in love -- with you, even though you weren't acting so adorably. You should have rewarded your sweetie's attentions with some romantic gestures of your own. Breakfast in bed? Tender massages? You needed to stop withholding your affection; everything you gave would have been returned to you. A little energy spent on physical pursuits and affection could have produced just the thaw between you that you were looking for. Next time, don't be quite to standoffish. Jump into the fray and you'll find it's a lot warmer in there.
Ouch! Did you have to be so callous? You turned your confident lover into a whipped puppy with your here-today, gone-tomorrow affections. One minute you were passionately connected, the next you were itching to get out there and flirt, always with one question tickling your brain: Could you do better? Sure you could, you could always do better, but how many relationships are you going to chew through with your noncommittal attitude? It's fun to fall in love all right, but if you keep whipping through partners every time you get a little bored, you're going to find you've been feeding yourself junk food of the heart.What was needed in this particular relationship was some frank and honest communication. Just what were you looking for in this hookup? How much time were you willing to dedicate to your mate? What level of fidelity did you expect, and were you willing to return? These were the kinds of issues that needed to be faced squarely if you were to walk on together. Just hoping that things would work out on their own didn't cut it anymore. If you ever hope to iron out the disparity between your desires and your lover's expectations you'll have to speak up.
You were overawed by your sweetie, and it led to some rather embarrassing situations. You felt too much, revealed your unattractive feelings too nakedly, and it left you feeling rather humiliated. It didn't help that your lover was so imprudent and rash, impatient to gloss over any problems without learning the lessons they had to impart. You may have felt as if you couldn't recover from the blows, as if you revealed your hand and now you were irretrievably damaged in your lover's eyes. But your fears were mostly just your own insecurities. Your mate wasn't really interested in searching beneath the surface; if things were going okay in the day-to-day sense, the subtleties and gradations you saw didn't really exist for your partner.Still, the frustration you felt needed an outlet. Could you have poured your emotions into physicality? In that arena of your relationship, you and your partner had occasional high spots, punctuated with dramatic timing issues. You should have stopped withholding your affections, and allowed yourself to relax into your lover's embrace when it was available. A little time spent shoring up your physical connection could have yielded good feelings that would leak into other, more troublesome facets of your lives together. In any event, this difficult pairing would have required a lot or work to work out.
You heard a laundry list of your failures, did you not? You're stiff. Serious. Absolutely no fun, a pain in the tush, and depressing to boot. It would all be unforgivable, if it weren't true. But your partner was no prize pig either, cursed with the knack of always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, embarrassing you in front of friends and coworkers. What was interesting about the pair of you was that you hated in each other what you feared in yourself. Your mate was well aware of a certain tendency towards sloth and slack, and hated the way your drive and stick-to-itness pointed up those failings. Meanwhile, you recognized in yourself a lack of lightness and fun.Instead of criticizing each other for what you lacked, why didn't you pass on your strengths? If you could have bent a little, you could have taken on a few of your partner's quick, easy ways, and been a little easier to approach. You could have had more fun, in many areas of your life. Your mate, on the other hand, could have stood a little more discipline and responsibility. You needed to stop resisting and relax. There was nothing that would have harmed you here. Clear, forthright communication could have solved many of your problems, and it didn't have to hurt.
You were at odds with your lover, and it was easy to see why. You were the sensual hedonist, while they were a mover and shaker. You wanted to drop bucks on vintage champagne and throw parties, while your sweetie wanted to network and take night classes. Sometimes it seemed like you had nothing in common, and as if understanding each other would mean you had to bridge a huge gap between you. And you, always with an eye on alluring new prospects, didn't want to stick around to work it all out.That was your prerogative, but you didn't have to go revving up to hit the road so soon. You bagged yourself a rare bird, and it was worth a bit of thought before you went after some new bit of fluff. Think about it: What's really important in a relationship compared to what your ego demands? Your sweetie was a tad self-important and righteous, to be sure, and you found all those rigid morals rather a bother. But there was something so solid about your sweetie, so special and unique. Hopefully, you didn't walk out the door before you thought carefully about where you were going.
Oh, you poor thing. You tried so hard, didn't you? You strived to improve yourself, tune up your relationship, make yourself clear. You were convinced that if your lover would only understand your point of view, if you could find the right words, that all the awkwardness between you would disappear. Sorry, but it was not going to be that easy. Think of it like this: You were a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. You and your mate had much in common: verve, drive, a zest for life. But there were many other things you disagreed on. You, in particular, exhibited signs of arrogance, jealousy, insecurity; all things you knew made you less attractive to your dazzling catch of a mate. There were others who wanted to take your place and you knew it. But you couldn't seem to stop trying to explain yourself once and for all and clear things up between you. Nothing you said did the trick, though. The key was in your behavior instead of your speech. Were you delightful to come home to, loving, interested in what your mate said and did? No? If not, nothing you could say would have taken the place of that lack and maybe you are better off apart.
Friends didn't seem so friendly for the pair of you -- it's likely you had a lot of friction around the issue of pals. You would have liked to spend evenings at home or spend your spare time in pursuits that broadened the mind; your lover, on the other hand, just seemed to want to hang out. All the time. With just about anyone. With people, in fact, who's friendship you would have preferred not to spend one iota of free time cultivating. Both of you wished the other would bend, and what's worse is that neither of you seemed to communicate your feelings about such matters in a way the other understood. What you needed to make this work was more alone time together, and your sweet companion was more than willing to schedule special dates for you. You could have taken up an activity together that you'd both have enjoyed -- perhaps something like a dance class, or a course in sensual massage for couples, anything that would have gotten you to slow down long enough to enjoy yourself as well as book a slot in your lover's busy schedule. More harmony more of the time would have helped you both to sing in tune.
It's no use fitting a square peg into a round hole, they say, but that didn't stop you from trying to nitpick your lover into submission. You were the picture of aggression and energy. That's usually a good thing, but in this case your drive went awry. Your irresistible force came up against an immovable object: your stern, sexy, stubborn love. You were convinced you could change your sweetie into just the person you wanted to be with, but couldn't you see that all your demands were getting you nowhere? Rather than comply with your directives, your lover pulled away. You viewed this retreat as a challenge, and pushed harder. And thus a cycle was set up, where the more you chased the further away your lover ran.You could have cooled your jets a little. Backed off. Given your lover a break. Your way was not THE way, and you didn't know it all. Maybe if, in the future, you spend a bit more time trying to understand the way your lover does things, rather than demanding everything be your way, you can channel some of your extra energy into fun and passion rather than draining it all away with anger.
A day late and a dollar short. Does that about cover it? There were so many good things about your relationship, but for whatever reason you couldn't quite seem to make it all hang together. You found your lover intriguing, oh yes, indeed, but you couldn't seem to get comfortable. There were awkward pauses in your conversation. You didn't get each other's jokes. You couldn't make that comfortable connection that makes staying together seem more natural and easy than splitting up.It may have seemed as if inevitable doom was in your forecast, but that wasn't necessarily so. Individuals can triumph over the obstacles that make the path of their true love rocky, and you and your sweetie could have been star-crossed lovers who persevered. What would have spelled success? A connection so strong that it made working a little harder well worth it. Did you feel you couldn't live without the love you shared? If so, you could have learned to be flexible. If you had taken an interest in your sweetie's passions and played down the things you didn't share, you would have found that things ran more smoothly -- eventually.
Did your lover have the roaming eye? Were those butterflies of suspicion in your belly? Or were you just all worked up over what you imagined to be the truth? The main problem in your relationship was that you, in your haste to activate your attraction, chose to grab on to a live wire. Your partner had a history of tumult, of disruptions, of passionate but unreliable love affairs. You got excitement to spare, but you missed the security and calm you gave up to follow your lover thither. You may have felt as if you were doing all the giving while your lover did all the taking, or as if you were far more attached to this relationship than your sweetie was. Sorry: Even with all your force and drive and might, you could never have harnessed this hurricane. Your lover would have continued to shake things up, to be quicksilver rather than a rock. You may have worried about infidelities, and you certainly wouldn't be getting any balm for your insecurities. So what did you have? A hot, hot lover who was so enthralling that it was worth the shaking-up, at least for a while. If you had wanted this to continue for longer, the key would have been to stop demanding what you couldn't have, and just hang on and enjoy the ride -- it was a stunner.
Things weren't what they seemed, particularly not in your tricky, difficult love relationship. On the surface it seemed as if your sweetie had the upper hand. Your lover was stingy with affection and attention, leaving you begging for whatever meager amount you could get. Meanwhile, you sat and stewed over what you imagined your mate was up to when you were not around to watchdog. But if you could have looked into your lover's soul, you'd have seen a far different picture. In reality, it was you who was in control, you who held the reins, you who had your lover bewitched. It's just that your lover was better than you at playing it cool.The key to moving past the rough spot? You needed to stop demanding what you felt was your due, and start treating your sweetie as you would have liked to be treated yourself -- with kindness and generosity of spirit. You had to stop expecting attention and affection; and start giving it instead. Given a boost of confidence, your mate would have stopped feeling as if control was slipping away, and would have ceased trying to get you in an emotional headlock. Your vicious circle would have been transformed into a tender and sweet clinch. And wasn't that what you wanted?
Why, oh, why did you and your lover keep finding yourselves in a bad place? You seemed stuck on a terrible treadmill. The pair of you pulled apart, came together, drifted away, circled back. You tired of repeating the same patterns. The chief problem you had with your sweetie was that you couldn't seem to find common ground. And it's true, you didn't have a lot in common -- you were driven while your lover was dreamy, you wanted to stride through the world making big changes, while your lover was more apt to dawdle and drift.But why should you have expected any different when you were the architect of this awkwardness? You were attracted to your lover because of your differences, not in spite of them. Your lover wanted you to slow down a little, to appreciate the subtle and magical rather than just the here and now. In your arrogance you wanted to force your sweetie to see things from your perspective, but that was shortsighted. You needed to bend a little and listen to someone else for a change. You may have found you had a lot to learn about life, not to mention your lover.
You're usually the calm, cool, collected one who slides through life confidently, while those around you are knocked over by your magnetism and power. But something about your amour put you at a disadvantage. You felt almost as if you were addicted to the affection you got, particularly since you were not getting quite enough of it. You always felt like your lover was holding out on you. You felt hungry, like you never got quite enough to eat. And worst of all, your lover seemed completely out to lunch, not seeing your issues at all.The answer to your conundrum lay in your past. Who in your history had a manner similar to your lover? Who taught you to beg for crumbs and scrabble for love? Think carefully, because solving this riddle could put you on an easier path for the rest of your life. Time to stop acting out old psychodramas from your past. Time to lay your ghosts to rest. If you had really wanted this to work -- or if future hookups have a chance to succeed -- you must manage to get past the whiny/begging pattern you're locked in. Lovers will find you a lot more attractive if you do.
Which partner were you -- the older one who acted more like a stern boss than a sweet lover, or the younger one who privately rebelled against the strictures? Whichever part you played, you found an uncomfortable niche. There was a considerable age difference between you, and it set up restricting roles for both of you. One of you played Svengali, the other Lolita, and neither one of you were happy. Part of the problem was that you came from very different families; one vibrant and emotional, the other staid and calm. As adults, you loved each other in the ways you learned in childhood. But you didn't appreciate the differences; instead you defined each other as overemotional or cold, respectively. The overall effect was stifling.But all did not have to be lost. The word for you two should have been 'respect.' The older partner had to learn to respect the younger, see that younger person as an equal. The younger person had to learn to respect the older one's emotional style and not demand displays of affection that the other found difficult or embarrassing. Given the ease that respect would have engendered, your pairing would have been well-placed to move forward.
There's glue, and then there's glue. Elmer's versus epoxy, Velcro versus nails. Your relationship was bound by the easy-to-separate type of togetherness, not the wild-horses-couldn't-drag-us-apart variety. Now, don't misunderstand: This is not to say that there was not a strong connection between you. But you were able to take the occasional separate vacation; to enjoy your own interests without your partner feeling threatened; to be two distinct individuals who chose to hang out together. Compare this to the joined-at-the-hip, can't-bear-to-be-apart couple. Didn't you always wonder about them? What did they think would happen if they weren't together for an entire evening, much less a day or even a week?Separation was not a problem for you two; in fact, you may have done it by choice on a regular basis. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and this was surely true of you and your partner. You took great joy in sharing your individual experiences, as well as in spending time together. If anything, you might have had to make it a point to schedule in time to be together! You may each have been involved in your own orbits that you suddenly realized that days or even weeks had gone by without you two sharing a full day together.You shouldn't have let that happen. You needed to discover the challenges of your relationship, which so often can turn out to be opportunities for growth and development. You two had chosen to be together, and likewise, you could have chosen to grow together.
I hope you have enjoyed the valuable insight, wisdom and guidance of this astrology report. You might be a little curious about astrology and perhaps wondering how an astrologer can know so much about you!
Astrology is a mathematical system. It's all about applying meaning to numbers, or more specifically, finding meaning in the movements of the planets around the Sun, as viewed from our perspective here on earth. These planetary movements are easily captured and recorded with measurements, calculations, angles and so on.
That's why astrology works so well with computers, whose programs are also based on numbers and formulas. In 'the old days' -- thousands of years ago, when astrology was first recorded -- those early astrologers had to painstakingly observe the heavens and catalog their observations for the next generation of astrologers to build upon. Thank goodness for the computer age! Now we can simply use computers to make those calculations quickly and pull just the applicable pieces of information. Now, astrology is instant, based upon thousands of years of observations obtained through careful methodology.
Interpretations of planetary positions are based in part on ancient Greek and Roman mythology, but your astrological report is unique, describing you and you only. Even in the case of twin siblings, their birth charts differ from each other's in at least a few ways. And besides, no one amounts to just a simple interpretation of their birth chart; everyone's personality is complex. Your astrological report leaves plenty of room for variations based on your free will, personal growth and transformation over a lifetime.
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You can choose from several different types to find the report that's right for you and your needs. Your natal report is all about you -- your unique characteristics, strengths, weaknesses, potential and so on. Compatibility reports analyze the connections between two different people, to see how well and in what ways they get along. And a forecast is based on where the planets are today and how they're affecting you, uniquely. Be sure to try a free sample of another report to find out more about you!
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